Raising Healthy Balanced Children
In West Africa there is a bird called Sanofka, the Sanofka looks back with it's head looking ahead.
I mention this because with all the senseless mass murders that happened in 2012, we can learn something about raising healthy balanced children.
When I was in graduate school, I had to take a lecture on the brain and brain development, it was taught by the 3rd leading neuropsychologist in the world.
Some key take aways for parents:
Brain Health:
1. A child fully can distinguish right from wrong at the age of 13, this why in most religions, the religious rites from childhood to adulthood is performed. Again, the brain developmentally can distinguish between right and wrong at 13.
2. When a child experiences trauma in his/her life it retards the emotional developmental of that child. So, children, who may have been abused, or have a trauma such as a divorce, or a car accident exhibit odd behavior. The brain reverts to what is familiar and comfortable, so you may have a 12 or even 17 year old reverting back to childhood behavior, RED FLAG some thing's not right here.
3. Balance is Key!
Because we live in a microwave society, many children want things extremely fast, and some things children can not emotionally and physically handle, such as being at photo shoot for 18 hours. So, even if your girl is raving beauty at 15, it maybe not be in her best interest to sign her up for Ford Modeling Agency.
4. Allow your child to fail.
If your child goes through life never experiencing any type of disappointments, there is no room for them to grow or to learn from their mistakes.
I know a lot of wealthy parents, who spend a lot of money in therapist and in rehab because "Little Johnny" had nervous breakdown because he/she didn't get into the college of his/her choice, or when they got their first job they were fired because of rude behavior, or the pressures of them to keep "family name," many of them turned to drugs and alcohol.
5. Intellect vs. Emotional Intelligence:
Many academically gifted children are at risk to commit heinous crimes as we saw with the Aurora, CO shooter and with the Sandy Hook shooter.
Although, they were academically and intellectually gifted; many people assumed that this translated into handling emotionally challenging situations. These students need to be taught about emotions and the best ways of expressing hurt, disappointment, abandonment, etc. without resorting to violent means.
Additionally, many of them need to be taught basic social skills--they tend to internalize and personalize everything, making them super-sensitive to their environment.
6. Keep Competition Out of the Home!
Any parents wants the best for their child it is natural, but allow them to be themselves, without any pressure. Don't compare your children to the neighbor's children, your sibling kids, or even your children amongst each other, every child is different and has their own unique abilities. Enjoy and embrace what that child brings without comparisons.
7. Consistency is Key!
Children want consistent love, guidance and support, they want to know they can come to you with any problem, make yourself available to your child.
NO FRIEND RULE:
Children, don't need or want you to be their friend. I have several friends, who later told me they hated their parents because they didn't give them any guidance. These were the kids who parent's bought them everything including underage alcohol and in some cases pot.
Cheers to raising a new generation of HEALTHY CHILDREN!!
I mention this because with all the senseless mass murders that happened in 2012, we can learn something about raising healthy balanced children.
When I was in graduate school, I had to take a lecture on the brain and brain development, it was taught by the 3rd leading neuropsychologist in the world.
Some key take aways for parents:
Brain Health:
1. A child fully can distinguish right from wrong at the age of 13, this why in most religions, the religious rites from childhood to adulthood is performed. Again, the brain developmentally can distinguish between right and wrong at 13.
2. When a child experiences trauma in his/her life it retards the emotional developmental of that child. So, children, who may have been abused, or have a trauma such as a divorce, or a car accident exhibit odd behavior. The brain reverts to what is familiar and comfortable, so you may have a 12 or even 17 year old reverting back to childhood behavior, RED FLAG some thing's not right here.
3. Balance is Key!
Because we live in a microwave society, many children want things extremely fast, and some things children can not emotionally and physically handle, such as being at photo shoot for 18 hours. So, even if your girl is raving beauty at 15, it maybe not be in her best interest to sign her up for Ford Modeling Agency.
4. Allow your child to fail.
If your child goes through life never experiencing any type of disappointments, there is no room for them to grow or to learn from their mistakes.
I know a lot of wealthy parents, who spend a lot of money in therapist and in rehab because "Little Johnny" had nervous breakdown because he/she didn't get into the college of his/her choice, or when they got their first job they were fired because of rude behavior, or the pressures of them to keep "family name," many of them turned to drugs and alcohol.
5. Intellect vs. Emotional Intelligence:
Many academically gifted children are at risk to commit heinous crimes as we saw with the Aurora, CO shooter and with the Sandy Hook shooter.
Although, they were academically and intellectually gifted; many people assumed that this translated into handling emotionally challenging situations. These students need to be taught about emotions and the best ways of expressing hurt, disappointment, abandonment, etc. without resorting to violent means.
Additionally, many of them need to be taught basic social skills--they tend to internalize and personalize everything, making them super-sensitive to their environment.
6. Keep Competition Out of the Home!
Any parents wants the best for their child it is natural, but allow them to be themselves, without any pressure. Don't compare your children to the neighbor's children, your sibling kids, or even your children amongst each other, every child is different and has their own unique abilities. Enjoy and embrace what that child brings without comparisons.
7. Consistency is Key!
Children want consistent love, guidance and support, they want to know they can come to you with any problem, make yourself available to your child.
NO FRIEND RULE:
Children, don't need or want you to be their friend. I have several friends, who later told me they hated their parents because they didn't give them any guidance. These were the kids who parent's bought them everything including underage alcohol and in some cases pot.
Cheers to raising a new generation of HEALTHY CHILDREN!!
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